


I Solemnly Swear...pt6

by shniam



Series: I Solemnly Swear... [6]
Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: List Fic, M/M, mention of vegetables, vegetables are not sexualised!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 19:26:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8546140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shniam/pseuds/shniam
Summary: based off a list'I solemnly swear that I will not…Put vegetables/slices of meat in his bed and tell him he has upset the local farmer’s market mafia.' ‘why are the ingredients for a casserole in my bed?’‘you upset them Nicholas.’‘upset who?’‘The farmers market mafia.’





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based of a list I found when I was researching for another fic, the list itself screamed for a list fic and Shnixangel "encouraged" (read:pushed) me to write it.
> 
> If this list is yours, please let me know because I can't remember where I saw it and I would like to credit you (I do remember that your site was very informative!)
> 
> (yes Shnixangel, I am still firmly blaming you! xx)

I solemnly swear that I will not…  
• Put vegetables/slices of meat in his bed and tell him he has upset the local farmer’s market mafia.

There was one thing that Nick really looked forward to when he got home from work, other than seeing Pig, and that was a quick nap in bed. Sometimes it would be a nap on the sofa if there was a particular programme that he wanted to watch but more often than not it would be in bed. He loved his bed, had taken a long time considering the different types of mattresses and how they worked with the frames, so in his opinion he had the ultimate combination for a good rest.

To find rashers of bacon in his bed, therefore, was like blasphemy.

When Nick had arrived home and found Pig whining at his closed bedroom door, he was a little confused; he and Louis usually left the door open so Pig could come and go as she wished. Upon opening the door the smell of smoked meat greeted him and Pig made a beeline for the bed, trying to bury her head under the duvet. When he pulled it back Nick found six rashers of bacon in a neat line down the middle of the bed.

When he got home the next day, half a butternut squash was laying on his pillow.

It was obvious that it was Louis’ work but Louis was supposed to be recording an album on the other side of London, because of the location of the studio the two of them had agreed that it made more sense for Louis to stay in his own house for the week. Nick was at a loss as to why Louis had been making the journey to leave food in his bed.

When Nick came home to diced beef and an onion in his bed, he decided to call Louis out on it and send him a text -

‘why are the ingredients for a casserole in my bed?’

‘you upset them Nicholas.’

‘upset who?’

‘The farmers market mafia.’

‘wtf? Who are the farmer’s market mafia? Do they even exist?’

‘you’re disrespecting Harold’s family there!’

Nick rolled his eyes, sometimes he really didn’t know what went on in Louis’ head and most of the time he really didn’t want to know; it was easiest to just humour him.

‘gonna tell me what I did then?’

‘you bought meat from a supermarket.’

Rolling his eyes again, a continuous habit that he had developed since seeing Louis, Nick typed his response. ‘isn’t that were most people get their meat from?’

‘Not according to farmer Styles. He said he told you to go to the farmer’s market in Primrose Hill and you haven’t. You upset the mafia and now you are going to pay. I will not work with an upset Harry, do you know how hard that is?’

Smiling fondly and suddenly forgetting the food in his bed, Nick began pulling vegetables out of the fridge and setting them on the side. Arranging them first he took a photo and sent it with the caption, ‘as hard as this?’

When Louis opened the picture of a marrow and two red peppers neatly arranged on Nick’s kitchen side, he quickly called for an early finish.

He didn’t even mind adding a new rule to the sheet.


End file.
